rosslangager

One of the unexpected pleasures of Random Dangling Mystery’s WordPress home (second only to its occasional brief suspensions by overzealous anti-spam bots) has been the Site Stats feature, allowing me to feed my ego with site hit numbers and, more importantly, amuse myself with the often baffling search terms that lead web surfers to this blog. They are a mixed bag of stupid questions, ludicrous word combinations, and other weird-ass shit that makes me feel more than a little squirmy. Here, then, are my top 15 favourite search engine terms from the last few months that, for whatever esoteric reason can be imagined, suggested this blog to the searchers. No particular order, by the way, some with links to the post that (I think) they were referred to. Enjoy.

russell westbrook glasses

In one form or another, this is the most popular search term in Random Dangling Mystery’s brief history at this location. Clearly, commentary on the facial-sartorial choices of point guards is my golden ticket to the big time.

masculine supremacist napoleon

I know, he sure was, wasn’t he? Wait… was he?

rob ford says fuck you i’m going to the cottage

He might as well have…

satire irony comic for educational system and higher self-esteem

Subtitle of Sacha Baron Cohen’s latest Borat movie.

osama bitches don’t know about my horcruxes

This search term lead me to this, which was a fantastic and disturbing profile picture on Facebook for a solid few weeks.

boston red sox track jacket as worn by jeremy renner in the film the town

Available at your local Champs Sports, I would think. Jeremy Renner not included.

discuss the view that colonial legacy is to blame for the current bevilling problems in zimbabwe

Somebody’s got a term paper due…

ninja airbrush harry potter

That sounds like one hell of a magical spell. I’ll have to use that one in my forthcoming Pottermore fanfic. What’s “ninja airbrush” in Latin?

how many women has ben affleck slept with

If you have to ask, then you’ll never know. If you knew, then you would never have to ask.

why does michael palin look smug about his height

You’re a very silly person and I’m not going to interview you.

harry potter and the deathly hallows part 2 anti semitism

It’s not even a proper nose, it’s polystyrene.

what does the gazebo represent in the lovely bones

Sometimes a gazebo is just a gazebo. Not in that movie, but, you know, sometimes.

why does cpc keep referring to canada day as dominion day?

Because chauvinistic anglocentrism wins election, silly goose.

extrapolate the eccentricities of transformational leadership

Only if you say “please”…

shit eating grin ron weasley

This has got to be my absolute favourite.