Home > Hilarity, Internet, Navel-Gazing > Good Old-Fashioned Wholesome Fun with Search Engine Terms #3

Good Old-Fashioned Wholesome Fun with Search Engine Terms #3

Returning for the third time, it’s the slightly-widely-loved Random Dangling Mystery feature that throws bizarre, jocular, and otherwise notable search hits back at site viewers in a run-on meta-posting of mind-boggling proportions. Spelling and grammatical errors, of course, very much preserved. Previous installments are from July and December 2011, making this the first such post of the last year ever, if the Mayans’ obscure astrological calculii can be believed. Which surely they can. My own calculii comes to thirteen (or fourteen, technically) terms. Down we go.

teen girls taking there close off

Simultaneously illustrating both the pedophilic undercurrents of the internet (the wider culture, really) and the importance of proper spelling and grammar, this was by far the tamest and least skin-crawling search that yielded my review of Girl Model.

russian beefcake

I hear that goes nicely with some borscht and a shot of vodka. Prijatnovo appetita!

corpulence unchecked

I cannot find any post on this site where I might have used a phrase so rhetorically wonderful as this, although the one I chose to link to does employ “blithe suburban corpulence”. So, you know, close, but no cigar.

fuck off wall e

A bit harsh, no? What did that sympathetically-eyed clunker robot ever do to you, besides feature in a cutesy dystopian animated film that analogized your comfortable North American existence as a moral, ecological, and technological disease that would render Earth an uninhabitable wasteland? The mass consequences of corpulence unchecked? Man, that phrase is my new drug. I’m hooked.

does the r in royal family have to be capatalized?

Only by un-bumpkinesque non-peasants. Now drop and grovel, maggot! A day’s not complete without some prostrate subjects.

ross langager girlfriend

It will never be revealed who exactly she is.

ross langager gay / ross langager fucking with your site stats

This is exactly who she is.

beavers and bitches in town

This sounds like the title of a very sexy Prince song.

chris nolan fascist

One mustn’t confuse implication with intention in such matters. But we can have that discussion, if you like. I have my suspicions, if you would know.

cartoon caricature of a raptor descending on a defiant mouse

It’s times like this that I wish I was a surer hand at MS Paint.

good old fashioned wholesome porn

Is there any other kind? Hold on. Don’t answer that. Rhetorical.

boston red sox b stands for bitch

I can’t fathom what post this would have lead anyone to. My Boston travel post? The Town review again? All I know for sure is that Yankees fans are a tremendously witty bunch.

romney is a weird mormon plutocrat

You said it, not me. And if he keeps leading Obama in the polls, “you” could refer to a lot of people indeed.

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